I'm not making any money either. WARNING: Harsh Language, adult themes, sexual situations (i.e. smut), bad spelling and grammar. Author's Notes: This story is a broad farce with over the top humor (a good deal of it is crude and sexual) and OOC actions (that's Out Of Character if you don't know). Also, this is my first smut-ish fic. If you don't like sex and sex-based humor, do NOT read this! Chapter One Summary: Harry receives a helping... hand in his quest for Voldemort's Horcuxes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As the sun crept into the smallest bedroom in the house at # 4 Privet Drive, Harry Potter fought the urge to wake up. Harry was having a nice pleasant dream. He dreamt that he was sitting on the shore of the ocean with his feet in the