Making a Difference in the World

Avatar of Desiree Peterkin Bell.
Avatar of Desiree Peterkin Bell.

Making a Difference in the World

Public Relations
Newark, NJ, USA

Raising a Daughter to Understand Her Purpose and Resilience in Making a Difference in the World

Despite my position as a mother, wife, and entrepreneur, I have strived to live a life driven by purpose (s). I have occasionally gotten things right. For example, it took a jolt to the core to reveal that I had been creating brands for men in politics and their families long before I was fully present for my own. My life has taught me many lessons, but the most important so far has been allowing my daughter to witness me being vulnerable, uncomfortable, failing, and getting back up.


For over 20 years, I have frequently been the youngest, brownest, and only female at a decision-making table in politics and government. And believe me when I say it has not been easy. Politics is a physical sport. In an industry where people are often driven by ego, grandstanding, and protecting their legacy, it can be challenging to make a difference and have an impact. But the obstacles and those who have been tunneled vision opportunists haven't dimmed my desire or drive to contribute to the world's change. Being driven by purpose rather than position means I work daily to make a difference in the world and my community. I'm not looking for titles, accolades, or roles. I'm looking for an impact.


I want my daughter's world to be a better place every day. I keep a journal of everything I believe will help my daughter succeed; these are the issues I am working on. Whether it's fighting for her safety in school or outside; marching to ensure she doesn't become a police brutality statistic; advocating for investments in clean water and climate change; encouraging investments in healthy food choices; lobbying for her right to choose what she can do with her body; or, when the time comes, ensuring she has the right to love and be with whoever she wants to be with and, most importantly, living the life promised to her. This is the reason I work.


Some have questioned my presence at the table throughout my career in government and politics. The intersectionality of race and gender hierarchies speaks to Black women's challenges in politics and society as women and as black people. Some of my work and the people I've helped have landed me in the crosshairs of injustice, hatred, and political pettiness. I don't hide any of these experiences from my daughter; I want her to understand that when you try to make a difference, you may come into contact with people and systems that try to stop you—but you can't. You must persevere.


Many people are concerned about what alerts appear on their phones in a world dominated by a 24-hour news cycle. The world has become far more tense and frightening. Turning on the television would lead you to believe that we all despise each other, that no one is safe, and that Washington, D.C., is at a standstill. However, perspective is essential when explaining the world and current events to our children. My advice to parents trying to raise a child in a world that can be frightening at times is to:


1) Be open and truthful. Share your emotions, and don't deny that an event/tragedy occurred. Nowadays, kids can often find information on the internet or hear about it that supports their fears rather than their hopes. Providing information and hearing context and facts from someone they can trust is preferable.


2) In this world, there are more suitable people than bad people and bad things happening.


3) What can you do to help? This is the question I always ask my daughter after one of these talks. What can you do tomorrow to make a difference? And the answer could be as simple as being nice to someone different from them, smiling at the new kid at school, or paying attention to their teacher.


My daughter Kaelyn has met (and often had to accompany me to) congressional members, city council members, youth activists, Governors, foreign leaders, and Presidents through my work. Even at such a young age, my daughter understands she can speak truth to power and impact the world. She and I always talk about how she wants young women to know they can be in any room and use their voices. She has already started doing this at school, where she insisted on bringing in and developing an anti-bullying curriculum after significant accounts of bullying were documented.


I do the work because I want my daughter to know there are no boundaries to who she can be. My husband understands what's at stake for our daughter's future and the importance of seeing representation, believing in her abilities, and having faith in who she can become.


I want young women of color, especially black women, to understand that they have the power to affect change. Life's trials and tribulations, as well as others' severe insecurities, can be overwhelming. But you can't let pessimism win. Nobody can dethrone you; you are a force to be reckoned with.

Despite my position as a mother, wife, and entrepreneur, I have strived to live a life driven by purpose (s). I have occasionally gotten things right. For example, it took a jolt to the core to reveal that I had been creating brands for men in politics and their families long before I was fully present for my own. My life has taught me many lessons, but the most important so far has been allowing my daughter to witness me being vulnerable, uncomfortable, failing, and getting back up.
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Published: Mar 10th 2023
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