The gap in age between two people from backpage dating seems to have broadened in recent years. You see middle age women with 25 year old men and 50 year old men with 25 year old women. The lines have gotten fuzzy as to how much of a gap is too much. For some, the gap is irrelevant and for others it becomes a problem later on.
A 25 year old woman who has never had children may learn the 50 year old man doesn’t want more children. He may be divorced and already have as many children as he wants. While casually dating, the couple may get along well, but for anything long-term, the issue of children will drive a wedge between them unless they can come to a compromise.
The younger man from backpage may find the older woman exciting, but if he wants children, the older woman may no longer be able to conceive. Again, this poses a problem, related to whether the couple can compromise in some way.
In order to know if an age-gap relationship can work long-term, you have to understand fully why you are attracted to the person. The older person may be mature, sophisticated and exciting, a breath of fresh air, but how much do you really have in common to create a lasting relationship?
You have to look well into the future and know your acceptance levels. If you are the younger of the two, can you see yourself realistically being happy with someone who will show the results of aging much sooner than you or possibly become ill and you have to take care of them? For some, the heart is so full of love for the other person these issues don’t hold significance. A problem I do see is someone who is in their early to mid 20’s and doesn’t have enough life experience and maturity to make a clear decision as to whether they want a lifetime commitment with someone much older.
They are just starting out in life and so many obstacles can get in the way. Another problem is the person from backpage who deliberately goes after a certain age as opposed to the individual. Some are seeking a trophy or someone who makes them feel younger. If they aren’t truly connected to the “person” and only the age, the relationship is probably doomed. For casual dating, an age gap doesn’t matter as much unless it involves a minor and that is another issue.
For a lifetime commitment, you need to look at all angles and make sure you know what you are getting into. Overall, I feel a person needs to be of a certain maturity level more so than age to make this type of decision. In my opinion, it’s a personal choice and age matters most to the two people involved. If they get along well, work together toward common goals, can realistically look into the future and can handle issues that may arise, have the life experience and maturity to handle the age difference, there isn’t a reason to dismiss someone much older or younger, based only on an age gap. A heart doesn’t know age, but it does know the person who can fill it abundantly.
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