might add that my advice helped them a great deal – he was very grateful.’ I stretched back and drew my right hand languorously from between my legs, under my skirt, then onto my crotch and ground into it. I laughed in his face. ‘No money changed hands between us, but let’s say he spent most of his time thanking me on his knees. Anyway, you never did enjoy eating cunt.’ ‘You were fucking that kid in my own home! You bastard!’ He started moving towards me, the knife raised. I stood my ground. ‘No, my dear ex-husband,’ I scoffed, ‘the only bit of him that ever penetrated me was his tongue – which is more than you can say!’ He looked as if he was about to argue when I added, ‘You should see all the motion-activated videos I