Do’s and Don’ts When Dealing with Difficult Co-Workers

In a typical 9-5 job, over 30% of your day is surrounded by the same people. While having a healthy and fully cooperating work environment is the best feeling ever, there are often a couple of co-workers that are difficult to deal with. Whether it be a difference in opinion, values, or personal problems, you may find yourself having to deal with difficult colleagues in the office regularly. 

Conflict management and having complete control over your emotions in the workplace are essential skills that every aspiring and established professional should endeavor to master. Dealing with problematic co-workers is a practically inescapable part of the workplace experience, and it should be done in a way to protect your workplace standing and personal integrity. 

Maintaining a good working relationship, even with difficult co-workers, is essential for you and the overall functioning of the office. Feelings aside, you are being paid to do a job, and your employer should not have to deal with incomplete work because you and a difficult co-worker cannot get along. 

Don’t find yourself in a pickle! If you are wondering about the best way to deal with difficult colleagues, or how to work with difficult co-workers, we’ve got your back! This article will explain everything you need to know about handling difficult co-workers and will deep dive into some ways that you can improve, even remedy, the situation!

Knowing how to deal with difficult people at work can mean the difference between staying at a company and leaving, whether it be on your terms or the company’s. This section will highlight reasons why it is important to know how to deal with difficult co-workers at work. 

Conflict can have a serious impact on your career

Before lashing out aggressively against a co-worker that is especially difficult to handle, take a step back and critically analyze the situation. Consider the fact that workplace conflict can have a serious negative impact on your workplace standing, the prospect of receiving future promotions, and even jeopardize your employment entirely. When it comes to dealing with co-workers who are particularly difficult to handle, even the most decorated and seasoned employees can see their career fall to pieces in the light of a conflict that is severe enough. 

It is good exercise to manage your stress levels

It is not healthy to work in an environment that stresses you out more than your actual job! You deserve peace of mind and the ability to perform your job without having to work in an uncomfortable environment because of a difficult co-worker. Therefore, knowing how to deal with problematic co-workers will go a long way in ensuring that you maintain a safe professional space for you to develop both personally and professionally! 

Conflict resolution avoids normalizing toxic behavior at work

Aggressive conflict is never the answer to any situation. That said, you owe it to yourself not to sit idly by when disrespectful and difficult co-workers make your job miserable. 

Being passive is the quickest way for an uncooperative co-worker to normalize their bad behavior. Accordingly, the difficult co-worker will create a toxic environment that does not belong anywhere, particularly in the workplace. Therefore it is always a good idea to mitigate the problem before it becomes something greater.

Learning how to deal with workplace conflict aids in personal growth

Learning how to deal with difficult people is a skill that extends past the workplace and into your personal life. Learning how to deal with uncooperative and difficult co-workers aids in personal growth by giving you the space you need, to learn how to manage tricky situations and uncooperative people.

The need to deal with difficult co-workers can present itself in many situations. Here are some tips on how to deal with difficult colleagues in different job positions. 

Difficult bosses

Having a difficult coworker, especially if that co-worker is your boss or employer, can be finicky to navigate. Remember to maintain respect, document your interaction, and clearly explain your case! In addition, try to be proactive in addressing the situation by suggesting ways that they can be less difficult to work with/for.

Awkward colleagues

Sometimes difficult coworkers are not inherently difficult. Perhaps a difficult coworker is simply uncomfortable or awkward in the situation that they have found themselves in. Similarly, perhaps a difficult coworker is just new to the job or a recent addition to the company. In either case, respectfully confront them and determine the exact reason for their behavior. That way, you can take steps to create a more conducive environment to work in!

Unprofessional bosses

The abuse of workplace power is not to be taken lightly. If you are experiencing problems with a difficult coworker in the form of an unprofessional boss, immediately take the matter up with your direct supervisor and Human Resources after you have gathered evidence of unprofessionalism and indecorum on behalf of your boss. This is a situation that should not be handled by yourself but should be a multi-step process with the appropriate people to ensure due process is made and that a favorable result is reached. 

Uncooperative or lazy co-workers

Uncooperative or lazy coworkers are particularly difficult to deal with and may, in some cases, require intervention by a direct supervisor or employer. If a difficult coworker is not pulling their weight, ensure that you document all interactions between you and the difficult coworker. If the situation between the two of you does not resolve itself or improve, you can take the documentation to your boss so that they can take more direct action.

Problematic co-workers

If you find yourself in a position dealing with a problematic coworker, you should do your best to investigate the root of the problem. Perhaps something happened in the past that troubled them, which is the reason for their behavior now. In this case, approach the difficult coworker and ascertain the root of the problem and the steps that the two of you can take to repair any damage that has been made. 

Stubborn co-workers

Whether it be pride or arrogance, a stubborn coworker is a particularly difficult coworker. If you are wondering how to deal with a stubborn coworker, the best course of action is to figure out why they are being stubborn. That way you can determine the best approach to working and interacting with them without getting frustrated and increasing the tension between you two.

Humans are emotional; it is a fact of life and is one that can dictate the most important decisions we ever make. Get ahead of difficult co-workers and master your emotions to avoid future regret! Let's close off this article with some key tips and tricks for coping and/or dealing with the emotions one faces when dealing with difficult co-workers.

Don’t get personal

The quickest way to lose an argument or come out on the wrong side of a conflict is to get personal; the same holds, especially when dealing with difficult co-workers. Confrontation is one thing, but directing personal insults at a difficult co-worker is the fastest way for you to come out looking like the bad guy to your employer and can have a huge negative impact on your career. 

Similarly, the language you use is important when confronting a difficult co-worker. Avoid personal attacks such as “you make me so mad when you laugh at me,” and instead say “I feel disrespected when I am ridiculed for my opinions.” By objectively phrasing your sentences, you ease the tension by removing direct blame.

Reflect on yourself

Before you lay blame on anyone, particularly a difficult co-worker, it is always good to take a step back and evaluate the position, including yourself. Consider how you have handled the situation and what you are actively doing to resolve the conflict between you and the co-worker that you are finding difficult to cooperate with. Perhaps the reason a co-worker is difficult is not because they are inherently wrong or inconsiderate, but because your perspective or attitude towards them is what is the problem. Save yourself the embarrassment and, before dealing with a difficult co-worker, ensure that you are not in the wrong and that any accusation made is justified and can be proven. 

Learn how to confront the situation respectfully & with a clear head

Conflict resolution is an invaluable skill to have, especially in the workplace. Understanding how to cope and deal with problematic or uncooperative co-workers professionally and respectfully can go a long way in both resolving the conflict and increasing your standing amongst your peers and colleagues. Respectfully confronting a difficult co-worker is also a good way to gain the respect and recognition of your employer, which can greatly benefit your career in the long run! 

Put yourself in their shoes & show compassion

Sometimes, a little perspective can go a long way. You never know what is going on in other people's lives; the same holds for difficult co-workers. Perhaps the reason that your co-worker is being so difficult to work with is that they are facing personal problems that they cannot seem to resolve, thus the negative emotions spill over into their professional life. As in every case, evaluate the situation that you and the difficult co-worker are in, and consider asking them, or finding out through other ways, the problems they may be going through. You never know when someone may need help.

Limit your interactions with them

Remember that in an office workspace, you are an employee. Therefore, treat your job as it is: a job! This application extends to dealing with difficult co-workers. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to interact with a co-worker that is challenging to work with, limit your interaction solely to the professional and work-related purpose in which they must assist you. After that, remove yourself from the situation and continue your life! This is a great way to avoid a difficult co-worker, reduce stress, and greatly improve your quality of life at work.

Ask your supervisor for help

When dealing with a difficult co-worker, there are times in which only upper management and administration can amicably resolve the conflict or problems that you are experiencing. In this case, approach your supervisor or direct senior, transparently explain the situation, and ask what can be done to either resolve the conflict. In many cases, your supervisor may separate you from the difficult co-worker, or will perhaps limit the interaction that you and said difficult co-worker need to have on a day-to-day basis 

Focus on your work

Sometimes, the best thing you can do in a situation is to remove yourself from it. If you find yourself completely unable to deal with a particularly difficult co-worker, and you are receiving no help from your employer or other administrators, the best thing to do would be to completely avoid the difficult co-worker entirely and just focus on yourself and your work. After all, you are there to work and earn money not to fight with difficult co-workers and an unhelpful administration!

--- Originally written by Alexander Coye ---